Konvo & Love is Blind UK vs. US Transcript
Preeti Davidson (00:01.358)
Hello everybody. We have a wonderful talk today based on online dating and the Konvo app, which is a relationship app, not a dating app, but someone who will not be named, has had me do a research on a show called Love is Blind on Netflix. If you are not familiar with this cultural phenomenon, it is where you, they bring say 10 women or men together and they talk through a wall. They are not allowed to see each other through a glass panel. They do not see what they look like.
They spend a certain amount of weeks talking and then at some point they must decide to get engaged, sight unseen. They then get to see each other once for the engagement and then spend a few weeks or months getting to know each other. And the show culminates with a wedding scene, full dress on, and they must come to the altar and make their final decision. One thing I've noticed and thinking of working on the Konvo Relationship app for people doing the work is that the difference between countries, the versions of the show. And if you're on Netflix, you can watch the American version, Brazilian, Mexican, Swedish, UK, Japanese. But the way that other cultures approach this show, how they detach, i .e. dump each other, it seems the American version is much more cutting, glamorous, wanting to be Instagram famous, those kind of things. Now, Preeti has lived around the world.
and has an opinion on why maybe these shows, these shows come off very differently. So Preeti what is Love is Blind? Why do you have me watching it? And why is it seeing the American version, American singles that they used is just so, it's so cutthroat and hurt and I want to be famous and I'm here to win. Why are other countries versions of this show not like that? I think you hit the nail on the head.
It's about winning. American, so much about American culture is actually about winning. We are very competitive. We win a lot. So there's that. We work very hard. The American work ethic is incredibly intense. It's all full throttle, right? It's balls to the wall 24 -7. We do not take vacations. We do not take breaks. It is not part of our culture to take time away from
Preeti Davidson (02:17.326)
work to be with our families. We do not siesta. We don't do any of these things that I think really lead to a fuller, happier life, a well -balanced life. I know for myself, I worked 14 to 17 hours a day. And when I was done with working, my reward was that I got to go drink and eat and be merry and do as much of that as I wanted. And it was really not necessarily the healthiest. And then, you know, during COVID, I think Americans got a little taste of what it could be like if we had a little bit more of a work -life balance. And as soon as the pandemic was over, we went back to be working 24 -7, not really having a work -life balance, not taking the vacation, storing up your vacation days as if it's some sort of badge of honor. I lived in Australia for many years and I watched some reality TV in Australia and noticed
that it was a really different tone, that they weren't hyperproduced into being on sides, that there weren't, enemy lines were not drawn, and that they work together. And if it was a dating show or if it was something to do with relationships, everyone was kind of rooting for the other couples. The couples weren't competitive amongst one another. There was a lot of camaraderie.
more so than there is in American reality TV. And I found it really refreshing. I watched people be loving. I watched people be kind. watched people be selfless. And I really enjoyed that. And I would come home a few times a year and I would ask my friends, hey, have you seen this show? Or have you watched any foreign reality TV? It's really different. But to answer your question,
I'm having you watch this blind for research. All the research. That's the party line. so we're going for, but it does actually, it does speak to this idea that, you know, this is a phenomenon. Dating is really important. Finding somebody is really important. And it translates, it transcends culture, it transcends socioeconomic groups. It transcends everything. This quest for love and partnership and being seen and heard and
Preeti Davidson (04:43.022)
part of a family, making your own family is something that is a universally felt experience. One that we all put on a pedestal. one that we all strive for. But on these competitive shows, competition in American TV is very different than say in Japan where I found Love is Blind was basically, you know, the person would meet somebody and it was very
that they were like, that's the person, that's person, it's fine. They didn't need to try out multiple different people. They kind of, the first person that they met and started dating in the pods, they were excited about it. They were trying to figure out how to make it work as opposed to what else could I get? How could this be better for me? So I think that that's one of the things that's really different. You think that also goes for dating apps in other countries? If you're following dating app...
And press and headlines, it's everyone's sick of them in America, waste of time, I hate them, I'm going to try in real life speed dating. Are other countries seeing the same anger and disappointment in dating apps? Like is the Bumble crowd in Switzerland just as upset as they are in the US? Is the Tinder crowd just done with it in New Zealand like they are in the US? No, actually, don't go the answer to that question.
but Through my observations living abroad, and I didn't date abroad, I was in a relationship when I was abroad, but there is definitely a sense of the greater good and a kind of...
focus on wanting the best outcome for everyone involved. Americans are exceedingly friendly. So I think that we're very accessible, we're very loving, we wear a heart on our sleeves. But there is this desire to win that I think has gotten worse over the years. And I can't speak to whether people from other countries feel that, but I definitely feel that as an American, that no matter what the conversation is, no matter what we're
Preeti Davidson (06:52.718)
no matter what the incident or the dialogue or the national conversation is, somebody has to be the enemy. We can't disagree, we can't agree to disagree, and we certainly can't see another point of view. As soon as I have a point of view, it is a set point of view. And anybody who disagrees with me is not just wrong, they are wrong to exist. And that's where we get canceled culture, that's where we get doxxing that's we get a lot of
online bullying. And I just want to add, because we also talked lot about this in terms of parenting and your child coming home and being deeply wounded and affected by the bullying they're experiencing. We're modeling. We do not do this well. We were the number one culprit adults in terms of how not to behave on social media, how not to behave on dating apps. I think that is we actually haven't taught anybody.
how to properly engage online. We've sort of given everyone access to everyone and just said have at it and it's been complete chaos. And I think that this is actually something that we need to teach. It's something that we do at MAYA and it's something that we wanna do at Konvo Dating Curt do you have a sense that things are different from your, you watched Love is Blind UK last night. Tell us a little bit about how that was different for you compared to the first season of Love is Blind US, which I made you watch a couple of weeks ago.
full research for Konvo, of course. I think the idea, and we've talked about at Konvo with detaching with kindness or love, is completely foreign to the game, I need to win mentality of the American shows who are there to win. You see other cultures, especially in the UK, they dump each other, if that's what we call it, or separate, but with love, compassion.
They're rooting for each other. Hey, I think you're a better match with this person. I can see the connection. I honestly want what's best for you two. And we're talking about that combo where you need to detach it from someone and there's nothing wrong with you or them, but they're helping you get to the right person. They're helping you get to the person you're going to meet. So, as we've said before, if you're a match or the person you're going to be with is number 17 on your dating app.
Preeti Davidson (09:09.326)
You should thank the first 16 people that either you separated from or they separated from you and said, don't think this is a great fit. And it's nothing, nothing's personal period. But I noticed the other cultures and countries of this show much more loving, much more handholding, no pun intended, because they can't see each other. But giving them to the other person, that may be a better match. I haven't yet watched the Japanese one. We've looked a little bit at the Mexico one.
Obviously TV shows are created to get people to watch. That's how they make money and drama sells. Much less drama. And even the people, the characters they set you up for in the other countries to kind of want to dislike, whether it's the clump guy or the player or the girl that's just there to be on Instagram. They end up being very nice people and genuine in other countries. Yet it seems on the American version, you can right away pick on who's there to be famous, who's there, who wants to follow, who's just playing the game to get to the final round. I haven't seen that part.
at least in the other versions of the show. So it may affect how Konvo is rolled out in different countries, really. Right, that's a really good point. And I think that there's something about American culture that is reflected in American reality TV, at least what we're seeing online. I don't actually think that this is how we behave with one another in person, and therein lies the problem. The way that we're behaving on social media, the way that we're behaving on reality TV does reflect a shift in American culture.
where I think we've always been go -getters. We've always been the ones who are willing to sort of pedal to the metal and work really, really hard 24 -7 to solve a problem. And we've achieved great things as a nation because of that. But in this realm, the individual as being more important than the whole is really not just not a good look, it's devastating and it's really hard to watch. There always has to be a villain.
And we see this on reality TV as well as on social media, whether we're talking about politics or the Olympics, somebody has to be right, somebody has to be wrong. And the person that you've decided is wrong is so wrong that they don't even deserve to have a platform. And then it gets into violence, then it gets into, I know that I've noticed real differences in the sort of exceptional amounts of sexual violence against women with whom we disagree.
Preeti Davidson (11:32.718)
That's really jarring and that's been since the beginning of social media and reality TV. But I'm wondering if in the UK version, this sort of concept of we're all in this together, we're all here for the same reason, like why is this landing for some Brits in this way that's so much more loving and generous, then why are Americans hearing that message and saying, but...
I want to be the best couple. I want to be the couple that beats all the other couples. Why is there no room for everyone to find love and be happy? That's what we think about at Konvo So if you have an opinion on this or you're a fan of Love is Blind, either any of the additions, I would like to leave a comment on.
comes is very country and aggressive and look take them all and other countries versions are not like that. Leave a comment below. If you'd like to sign up for early access to the Konvo Relationship App it's at Konvodating.com. You can put your email in and when the beta version is ready, you'll be one of the early users. So thank you for your patience, Preeti I'm enjoying the show and it's always about research. That's all right. Well, let's cut the camera so we can go watch more episodes. All right. Good job.
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